Gratitude

Not quite three-score-and-ten, I am constantly overwhelmed by the grace that God has shown our family. Of course, we have had our challenges and deep tragedies. But if you had asked me 45 years ago what I anticipated for my future, I would probably have said, “I will have to be content with having a good marriage, and no children.”

I suspect that I have been remembering the long years during which my husband and I yearned for children because of the upcoming visit of the icon of St. Anna (with the choir of St Tikhon’s Seminary) to our parish this weekend. St. Anna herself was blessed with the miraculous conception of holy Mary, the Theotokos, and her icon has been recently associated with unexpected pregnancies of women who had been diagnosed previously as infertile. I am not the kind of Christian who has had many direct “words” from God, and am generally suspicious of such claims. However, God did “speak” to me inwardly one evening after, in desperation, I told him that I would bear patiently my infertility, if He would only give me courage, and help me to redirect my hopes. Very clearly, the message was given that I would have children, and from my own body: I felt like David, who was told that a son from his own body would be the Anointed One. Not long afterwards, I successfully conceived and bore a baby girl–though with some difficulties during a pregnancy that required several months of bed rest.

Three children later, and twenty-two grand children later, my husband and I still are constantly amazed. Our grandkids, ages 3 months to 16, are happy in God-fearing families that attend Divine Liturgy, with both parents faithfully engaged, and that pray with them at home, too. The children have their distinct personalities and gifts, ranging from uncommon wisdom in one grandchild, to musical abilities in several, to facility with words in others, to logical and mathematical acuity in others, and to deep kindness in still others. Our quiver is more than full!

One of the gifts that I have given to these wonderful grandkids is to write stories (part history, part Bible, part fantasy) in which they are each showcased, meeting their name-saints. This is tricky, of course, because each of them is unique, and I can only depict them as I see them! It has been my joy, though, to write first Beyond the White Fence (Ancient Faith, 2021), and now most recently Down the Valley (Cascade, forthcoming in early winter), both to celebrate God’s gift of this children to me, and to invite other children into the large and wondrous world around us–a world that makes room for all that God has created, from plants, to animals, to children and their parents, to the saints who are now with the LORD, and to the (normally) unseen heavenly hosts! Glory be to God for all things!